Summit #1:
Donny and Vladdy discuss the importance of mutual trust.

Donny and Vladdy Putin hold their first get-to-know-you meeting at a private breakfast in the Kremlin grand dining room, insulated from family, friends, advisors, and the media.

It becomes quickly apparently both men share commonalities: their love of opulent rooms with lots of gold décor and indulgent foods like smoked whitefish and Black Sea caviar. They also reaffirm their tolerance for people of all races, creeds and sexual persuasions.

But things deteriorate to the politically incorrect. To the dismay of Donny, Vladdy calls his daughter Ivanka is a hottie. He also admonishes Donny for calling Hillary “crooked,” explaining that Pushkin and Tolstoy “never used such words.” Trump responds predictably—and away the men go, trading barbs.

Fortunately, because of our numerous Russian-American cross-cultural initiatives during the past decade, our sources have provided exclusive access to the unredacted transcripts of the palace meeting as well as a Kremlin-created illustration that captures the essence of the two men building a bridge of mutual trust.

So, if you pride yourself on knowing the real facts behind today’s headlines, you might want to pick up a copy of DONNY AND VLADDY. Politically Incorrect, Curiously Candid Conversation Between the World’s Two Most Controversial Leaders.