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Straight from my mind to your screen—here’s a collection of my thoughts, from the heartfelt to the odd, and everything in between.

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1966) – My Older Brother’s Death Officially Declared A Suicide.

My older brother Siwu was a kind, gentle, intelligent man who loved life. As the Cultural Revolution stormed the country, he and his French-born wife, Zhuge, decided to move to Shanghai's relative calm and teach French and English at the foreign language college. They quickly learned to be careful with whom... Learn More

DATE: Dec.30.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1965) – I Am Humiliated and Beaten.

My loss of favor in government circles was quick and sudden. I had survived as President of the Music Academy during some of Chairman Mao’s past, short-lived “thought-reform” campaigns. But this time was different. I was being attacked personally as a supporter of Western ideas in my music. I tried to avoid... Learn More

DATE: Dec.28.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1956) – Mao and Zhou Declare Me a National Treasure.

I was asked many times by government officials to join the Chinese Communist Party; but politely declined, explaining I was a musician, not a politician. The fifties were a creatively productive period for me, so I was left to do my thing. I composed numerous symphonies, ballets, and operas, which placed me... Learn More

DATE: Dec.14.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1939) – Mysterious Assassination of My Father

I was excited to see my father at the family reunion, even though I rarely heard from him, but I knew from my mother’s letters, he was proud of my accomplishments. Since I remained outside of politics, all I knew about my father’s activities was that he sided with Chiang Kai-shek... Learn More

DATE: Nov.23.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1937) – I compose my most famous work, Nostalgia, as a young man.

While my father and my older brothers were involved in the day's complicated politics, I was consumed with my passion for the violin. While studying with the finest musical professors at the world-famous Conservatory of Music in Paris, I wrote my first symphony at the age of 13 and was labeled... Learn More

DATE: Nov.10.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

The Diary of Ma Sicong (1918) – I had my first love affair at the age of 11

I was 11 years old the first time I even heard mention of a violin, My older brother Siqui wrote home that he had decided to play the violin as a hobby while studying at the university in Paris. (My father was a scholar and believed the French schools were far superior... Learn More

DATE: Oct.20.2020 | CATEGORY: Biography

Diary Entry #7 (by special guest Vicki Fitzgerald)
Jail Sucks. I made yet another mistake, and this time I hit rock bottom.

Under arrest and incarcerated in a cell is terrifying and undignified. It was THE worst night of my life. I’d always been a good girl, but I’d well and truly messed up, again. Life had declined, and my ex-husband and ex-friends continued to rub my nose in matters. Enter an unfortunate decision... Learn More

DATE: Oct.13.2020 | CATEGORY: Woman's Fiction

Diary Entry #6 (by special guest Vicki Fitzgerald)
There’s No “Magic Bullet” for Depression.

Depression is something one can never truly understand unless you have experienced it first-hand. It’s like your soul is detached from your body, and you’re drifting from one day to the next. I felt a failure, but I wanted to be the old Vicki again. I wondered if she’d ever come back... Learn More

DATE: Oct.06.2020 | CATEGORY: Woman's Fiction

Diary Entry #5 (by special guest Vicki Fitzgerald)
There’s a Fine Line Between Thinking About Suicide and Committing Suicide.

When your mind shatters, you’re no longer in control. Dark thoughts linger and hammer your head, demanding you deserve to be punished. I wanted out of my woeful life, and pills would end my troubles for good. Only, I realized too late that I’d made another terrible decision. Doctors hooked me up,... Learn More

DATE: Sep.29.2020 | CATEGORY: Woman's Fiction

Diary Entry #4 (by special guest Vicki Fitzgerald)
I Found Out the Hard Way There is No Such Thing as a “Free Ride.”

I was reeling from my divorce and dissolved friendships. He was a millionaire with an offer I couldn’t refuse—a spectacular trip to the Caribbean business class. My parents said it was a bad idea. I said: “I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.” They were right. Before long, the... Learn More

DATE: Sep.23.2020 | CATEGORY: Woman's Fiction